There are big problems in life and then there are champagne problems, you know....the kind that some people make a big deal of but really are not. We tackle those little issues as well as some other hot topics in this weeks episode (number 12) of Undebatable. This week Raylene leads us in exploring such topics as: Finding a "Hack" to extend your vacation time. and the issues that's on everyones mind.. Like food and alcohol companies and their misleading advertising and keeping big marine animals in captivity. Later in the episode we meet Lisa David Olson, Author of: Laughs on Wry. She is a humorist speaker, ice breaker queen and embarrassing mom. She sit down to discuss what life was like in an abusive home as a child and how that has shaped her into who she is today. Don't miss all the laughs and fun this week on Undebatable.
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trivia time. What happens when you put for highly opinionated friends? For microphones and breaking news and controversial topics in a blender? You get one hell of a podcast. This is undebatable A hysterical and thought provoking podcast that sees for friends from different backgrounds debate hot button issues that affect our modern world hot button issues. For quick witted hosts, if it's political news, pop culture news or weird news. We're talking about it. This is undebatable and here are your hosts Raylene? Yo Curtis, Steve. Hey Bradford
Hey everybody, I bet you noticed that there wasn't a yo for Curtis Today he is out of the show for the week. And today we have Brandon and sitting in for him he's our trusty stand in Hey, Brandon. Yo, there we go. There's the I wanted to do he
ha but I did not want to make you jump out of your seat. So it's definitely gonna try like to do like a like a manly Western.
Unknown Speaker 1:11
How are we gonna do that? Can we hear well?
Yeah, I mean compared to like a gay like your hair. You do the manly?
That's what I was implying.
My husband was Jihad so loud at the biggie that Travis tritt pointed at him. Is not kidding. Is he hard? Like a natural?
Like a Yeah, is natural is natural? Or do you have to like pre like meditate to do it.
Unknown Speaker 1:39
Instinctively comes out more you hang around cows.
Are you trying to say something about me?
Unknown Speaker 1:46
Oh, we're back to the gas. So I just want to remind everybody you should be sharing our podcast is probably the funniest part of your entire day. So why would you not share that with people connect with us, you can go to our website on debatable dot show. And you can let us know topics that you want to hear. You can talk about our topics, you can send us a message. And if it's funny, we might even play it. And you can support our podcast become a member of undebatable on Patreon, and the link will be in the show notes description below. So how's everybody's New Year's Eve?
Rockstar? I literally mean that. No, it was fun. Were
you asleep by 10?
No, I was asleep by 1215 though. Oh no. Shortly after. I was like ringing in the new year and then my face at the pillow.
Nice. Did you guys notice that? The countdown was about a minute behind the actual midnight?
Unknown Speaker 2:36
Was it? Yeah. Really? Yeah. About four bottles in at that point?
Did anyone notice how fucking ominous that was? My girlfriend like hey, let's just watch some other crap. And then we'll just throw it on. Like in the last minutes. I looked over and it's 15 on Oh my God, we throw it on and there's 39 seconds and there's no crowd. So yeah, there's not gonna be like, and it was silence but the mayor was dancing was just incredibly loud. Right. 39 fucking seconds. I don't know how long 39 I'm like, Is anything gonna change and it just so I was waiting for this? Like, yeah, it's over. And I'm just standing there like, this is when they blow us up. Right? Exactly. We're gonna die. I was convinced in it. So I still don't feel very good about the year
is weird. Cuz that's what 20 the year 2000 was like two but you guys were children. So you wouldn't have remembered?
I was there. Oh, I passed out. I was I was drunk when I was 15.
Unknown Speaker 3:32
All right. y2k.
Yes, we were at Disney, we went to we because we used to live in Orlando, where annual pass holders, we got up at four in the morning. We were there at 6am. The park closed 15 minutes after we got in. Because everybody else also got there at 6am. They didn't have any lockers or anything. So they would put your stuff in plastic bags and gave you a tag number. And if you needed your stuff, you would come back and get it. And we stayed there all day long. And then and it was weird, because you could see that all this stuff set up because they were not sure that the world wasn't going to end. You know, like we weren't sure that electricity was going to happen.
Just the movies will be white right here.
So if you were paying attention, you could see they had like backup generators. And they had these light systems and stuff all set up. And then midnight, and then everybody left. And then we wrote all the roller coasters because there was nobody there. So well
Unknown Speaker 4:19
managed if the word Yeah, and I'm going to do a backup planner.
Yeah, I wonder who like started that? Is that like the guy was like running queueing on now? Let's just focus on people. No, it was del KO del
del x? Well, I think it was because all of their systems were set. You know, they hadn't when the actually was probably IBM, but they hadn't set anything to flip over from 1999 to 2000. And they just weren't sure that the computers but it
was like there was like a week of talk like in that week. They couldn't figure out Oh, well.
There were weeks of talks. I mean, they had is terrified. I was young, I didn't even like so my youngest daughter breastfed until January 1, because I just wanted to Make sure that I would still have milk production. If if the world came to fuck that baby was still getting fed. She got weaned on January 1.
It was it was really, I was a freshman in high school. I was in eighth grade. I think I remember like, we stole wine from my friend's parents. We got hammered. I fell asleep at 1130 I woke up at 1215 was like I really okay. Okay, and went right back to sleep. I
Unknown Speaker 5:24
was still in college, so I don't remember.
I want to know who profited off of all the y2k merchandise that was sold like just before how American is that? Let's
celebrate our own fucking Doom here by
Oh, did you guys then oh my the people who were selling like the canned food like, like the doomsday prepper food and the Mormon food all the can't Yeah, they probably were pushing it but my mom and dad bought a four ton of this canned food, you know, like lentils and rice and I'd rather flour and I mean, I mean, I don't know. 100% but I'm pretty sure Mormons have to have a year's worth of food saved up for when the I don't know. The Apocalypse happens they have to have a year's pay shoot when
a spaceship comes down to pick them up,
right? Wrong. Or it could be the rapture thing. Which I'm thinking if you're pretty sure you're going to have and why are you planning for a year after the rapture? That's that's what I want. I will be right Right. Exactly.
Somebody will be right someday but yeah, canned food. The UK did it right this year. Like I don't know if you saw the UK celebration. But they had this magnificent firework show. And then they had this like I don't know how to describe other than it was like a 3d laser show. So it was definitely like laser lights going up into the sky. But it was 3d and it made like, and they they coordinated it to music. It was it was amazing. Honestly, it was really really cool. And I was like damn, all we have it's a stupid ball that like slowly, like drop it like
it couldn't even play. It couldn't even get the Titanic banned for this year.
Didn't they go down with the ship?
It was a beautiful scene.
There was room on the door rows.
Unknown Speaker 7:04
Unknown Speaker 7:05
but only for one.
Unknown Speaker 7:06
And then here we are celebrating the new year in America and above the ball is some foreign car commercial. And Tick Tock key a baby right
and everywhere Planet Fitness just to remind you that you're fat.
Unknown Speaker 7:22
What's your New Year's resolution?
Unknown Speaker 7:24
talked about that
last week. Hey, I am Brandon. I'm on day two of eating well and working out so I mean, I am practically halfway to my resume.
three more days left. Yeah,
I weekend. I just need to get I don't know. I just do it a day at a time now. So I can't consider myself a failure. I have
not been nicer to anybody. I didn't expect you to
Unknown Speaker 7:45
believe in realistic goals. So I didn't tell myself I was gonna lose weight.
Unknown Speaker 7:49
It's not gonna happen.
No, you're fine. Why are you trying to lose weight? Got a little little winter coat?
He's got a little dadbod going on.
Listen, if we got lost in the woods with a skinny guy, he's dead like fucking 10 right? Exactly. All I need to worry about is water and shelter maybe for three weeks and then I can worry about food like I'm good. I know how to survive. That's my Doomsday prepping
See you guys you got it going on. Because just have a little dadbod see I've got a she looks like we get chopper up and eat. There's plenty there for everybody
Unknown Speaker 8:22
to lose some weight so I don't look like it's for the hubby. We
discussed this last week.
Exactly. Stick keep him keep him behaving. Alright, so we've got a couple of topics we're going to talk about today people are enraged by the mystic aquariums plan to introduce five new beluga whales. For those of you who are not local, the Mystic Aquarium is quite close to us. So when people get enraged, we get to hear it new lawsuits brought to food and drink brands for false marketing practices. And people in the UK use a hack to extend their vacation time. I don't think it's just the UK but I just really think that's where the article came from.
It was and I chose this because I did this shit this I just got off a plane and I did this is that Roman Holiday?
I think don't doesn't. Alright, so let's just explain what this is. Basically, they're telling you to take your vacation days in conjunction with bank holidays. So if Monday is a holiday, take your vacation day on Friday and Tuesday. So you get a free day in there. If you have any paid holiday,
right how to make it work. Like if you have a three day weekend, take Friday off you get four days off for the price of one that's not a hack that's
being smart. Right and,
and I say stupid, and I just discovered it.
I think they should shut the fuck up. Because those of us who've been doing it all our lives are now a bunch of people are going to be like, oh, who couldn't get those days off? And they're gonna be like, Oh, sorry, Steve took them.
I do have to give credit. There is a veteran person I work with Theresa Barrett.
I love Theresa. This
is the Teresa berry move. So her vacation thing. I'll put it in just seven days straight. She'll have like commas and different dates and always looking to be like she doing Oh, she's bookending it around your paid holiday. You know, you just do the math. You're like, hey, for a price of four. I just took seven days off on vacation, I had 12 days away from work. Mm hmm. I forgot what to do when I got there today, right? I cost the seven days, I got 12 days. So always find those paid holidays,
or you're self employed though, right?
Unknown Speaker 10:10
So there's no I was gonna say, as a business owner, I have to take a little bit different stance on this. There's there's actually my wife's work actually has a policy against taking Friday's off before a holiday. You can only do it so many times.
Yeah. But you can also take Tuesday off.
I didn't know that.
Unknown Speaker 10:27
Well. So from a business standpoint, so say you're in a production or service based business like ours, right? People still need to be serviced. And if you have nobody working for you to service them, that could be a problem for your business. So certain types of business might be able to get away with that. But what do you do if well say you're a plumber, and the plumber is not working and you're your toilets backed up?
What do you do you call a different plumber or shitting outside or,
and depending on depending on how large your staff is, I mean, where I work, we have such a large staff that, you know, we we have a certain amount of PTO that's allotted to us like most people do. And we have this calendar, and there's a max of three people per day that can take PTO on the same day. Right. And that includes people who are using floating holidays, or bereavement or things like that. So it's kind of tricky to work in. But
right, that's also where seniority comes in. And that's where I want to quitting a job one time because I was filling in and my husband randomly said, Oh, hey, I've just booked a cruise to go, you know, on Thanksgiving. So I told my boss slash friend, hey, I'm going to be gone this week. And she said, You can't be because so and so has seniority. And I slyke I think you forgot that I don't work here. And I was like, okay, so just so you know, my last day is day before Thanksgiving. She's like, Oh, wait, there might Okay.
That's Yeah, well, it is if you, you know,
I came up with this great idea to take every Monday and Friday off for a whole month. That's eight days. And you have a whole month of working three days a week and a four day so I like pitched this to my boss. And he was like, so hold on. You want to do a radio show three days a week. I was like, I hear you know, I take a week off. That's cool. It's like, you can't beyond three out of five days a week. And I'm like, It's so fucking genius, though. I mean, cuz I don't really go places for a vacation. If you're not, why not just have a whole month of working three days a week. I mean, that's, Oh, my God. Maybe I should still I like my job.
My daughter's job in the summer, not this summer because of COVID. But in previous summers, they would have Friday's off. So nobody worked on Friday. And so you had Friday, Saturday, Sunday, unless you were working in actual event. And then you still had to be available to answer emails and stuff like that. But everybody could work from home on Fridays. Well, now everybody's working from home. So there's no work from home on Fridays.
Well, and as a business owner, like for Brandon, right, like he always has to coordinate with my dad. They can't usually usually go away at the same time because one person has to look over the business sucks for family vacation. It does. Our summer home and printer Rylan like there was one time where we all I'm sorry, you have a summer
home on PDI. Fuck, yeah. Anyway.
Unknown Speaker 13:10
Okay, we couldn't get to this you're
Nope, they wouldn't let us in. But, ya know, it's always hard to schedule, things like that, you know, when you're a pro, we now have
Unknown Speaker 13:21
some project managers we can really rely on. But But the biggest problem is this look, we have, you know, we have a project and somebody wants a patio done for their, well, maybe they just want it done. Maybe they want it done for a special occasion like a graduation or something. So we book our schedule, and we have weather to contend with right commonly. And then all sudden, we booked our schedule out and we tell somebody when they're tentatively getting done. Now if if the crews continually take off a lot of time prior to that, that sets the schedule way back, and then the client gets all upset. So it's it's hard to manage these things as an owner so that's why I think a lot of companies limit how many people can take off at one given time.
Yeah, I mean, I when I was younger, I worked at a butcher shop and there's like a local town butcher shop. There's four of us. I don't even ever remember being like so I'm gonna take this week off like are you kidding me? Like that's not an option. I'm just realizing now like holy crap. I didn't take a vacation for so long. And nobody did though because if I do like Brandon said, like, I'm fucking over everybody that I work with for a week like everyone works there because we are the only people who need to be here and if you're not there, I mean what do you do so small businesses right? That's that's a whole different ballgame.
Fuck the man kind of
bring that shit.
If you you work in New York City for some big you know, Goldstein buck and whatever. screw up and I
don't understand why like, Oh, you can only cash out half your vacation. Dude, he agreed to pay me this shit. Anyways, why are you playing me along? Like you're paying that check anyway, and I should take the money and then I'll stay at work You idiot. Yeah, they should understand that because
there are corporations that have you accrue the times you have to earn it right. So like I know for a fact for example, with my company. I know fact that we receive basically three weeks of time off, we can use that for a mix of PTO sick time, vacation time, whatever. But we get a three week block by the end of the year. But if I were to try to take a day right now, I don't even have a day to take. I simply don't have a day,
right? Because they don't let it roll over.
Well, no, but it gets, I don't how to explain it. It's a crude. So in order crude means like, in my next paycheck, I'll have some days off and then like the next paycheck, I get more days off to earn the hours.
But what are you what he's saying is if you've already earned them, why can't we just cast them out some
places let you but some will be like, Oh, you can only take like my girlfriend, she can only take out half of her vacation time like they already like right wrote that out? to pay you out. Like why do they play that game? It just to me it's like a little puppet control. Right? Like a lot of time money.
It's use it or lose it vacation. So like the last three weeks of December for the last five or six years. The last three weeks of December. My husband doesn't work because he gets so much Plus he gets comp time. So we use his his comp time when he needs time off and then the last three weeks of December he can't work because he they won't give him it. So he's just like, Okay, well, I'm not gonna come in because it's user lose it. And you can't make me come in. So I'm stuck with them. So he's but to be fair, I've been stuck with him since March.
Unknown Speaker 16:16
You're still you're still getting paid. So you're gonna do house chores, right, honey? Yeah.
No, he does the yard stuff though. In December,
Unknown Speaker 16:22
that's a good plan.
would not believe the shit this guy. He could never live in a city because he's got to go outside all the time. He made me by him. He didn't make me you put it on his list. He wanted a golf umbrella. Because when it rains he likes to just walk outside around the perimeter of our property and look at it. Is that a man thing? Is that what you guys just
Unknown Speaker 16:41
did a couple weeks ago.
Right? You guys just look at your stuff. You're like, this is mine. All that I survey is mine. What
the imagine that from the perspective of your neighbor that doesn't know you? Well, they all know us. Like he's looking to bury that fucking body. Guys. I'm telling you
that my neighbor has a backhoe. So we're gonna work in tandem, if anybody else fucks up in Lisbon. I've had it with those people. I've got the property. He's got the back.
Unknown Speaker 17:04
You've said about five things about your husband that remind me of myself. So this is kind of
Oh, yeah, no, you're definitely husband material.
Unknown Speaker 17:10
We worked outside all day today and yesterday, and I just love it outside.
He gets he if he's got to be inside for any amount of I can't believe he loves going on cruises so much because he really just needs to be outside doing stuff. Moving from here to
Unknown Speaker 17:24
on the deck. by the pool.
Oh, he's not he's got he can't sit quietly. I could sit and read a book for like eight hours straight. And he was like, What are you doing? I'm reading a book. That's a thing that people do. That's our dad.
Our dad, my dad cannot sit still. He hates going on vacation and being stuck. Like somewhere. He's got to work on vacation work on vacation. Oh, yeah,
reading is for what people did before electricity. I read constantly. That's how I look at when reading relaxing.
Unknown Speaker 17:52
It's for us, I guess you grabbing a newspaper or a magazine on a Sunday morning, which is my only time to really stay in.
I don't have the attention span.
I like to read when my husband is driving. And he likes to drive. So I mean, when he says let's go to me and I'm like, Fuck yeah, five hours read nobody bugging me. Like, that's how I feel about it. So I brought this one up, because I was I it's so ridiculous. People are suing which right there people are. It's ridiculous. People are saying they have sued Tito's vodka, because it's not homemade. Because it says Tito's handmade vodka. So somebody sued them because he felt like the price was too high. Because the implication was that it was homemade, but it's not. And now King's Hawaiian sweet roles have been sued because they're not from Hawaii. I mean,
come on, which actually, originally the company was and they've moved. So
but the recipe came from Hawaii. You know what, to that guy?
Those guys get over yourself. Seriously, if you're listening to this, get over yourself. Oh,
no, they're doing it for the money. Of course
Unknown Speaker 18:54
they are. We all know we all know I did a little research on the Tito's thing because I was interested because it was vodka. So and as I read the lawsuit, the judge had actually passed by the the suit or whatever you want to say because the guy actually hadn't drank vodka since 2015. Right. So so obviously he wasn't affected by this. I thought the idea of a lawsuit was I've been affected by something. Right? Like McDonald's coffee was too hot and it burned me. This guy is just looking around going. What can I drink vodka, but who can I sue?
Unknown Speaker 19:24
Right? But even that you bought hot coffee? iced coffee?
No, no, no, that was Did you ever read the facts of that case?
Unknown Speaker 19:33
Yeah, the woman was out for money.
No, the woman was not out for money. She was out to get paid back for the third degree burns she had in her legs because coffee, hot coffee. Coffee. It was it was her Lamia, but coffee should never be served over certain temperature but McDonald's was over heating it so that it would stay hot until people got into the office and they had already been sued multiple times, but they would just give people $50,000 in the would go away because by the way, that's the standard you sue McDonald's get $50,000 to go away and her lawyer was just like, no, we're not because this woman has third degree burns and they'd already been sued a billion times. And so they had to bring the temperature. They were serving it over 300 degrees. Holy Lord, that is hot.
Yeah. Can you imagine working in a drive thru and she pulls up the next day?
I'm sure she didn't do a lot for a couple of days.
I will have all your coffee, please.
Did you ever hear about or did you? Oh, did you guys ever hear this here? If we're gonna talk about her vagina, let's talk about Channing Tatum his penis. Did you ever hear about the he actually he was in some movie was in water a lot. And somebody went to pour the water in because the water was getting cold. But they poured it right where he was standing in the boiling water like, right on his penis. Oh,
yeah. Fuck him in his perfect specimen body. Right. He
worked on that he worked on that body. I saw pictures of him when he was 18 all pimply and scrawny. He worked hard. It's
gonna burn dick now. So
how about it's probably healed. I mean, it was probably only a second degree burn or maybe even first, but I bet it hurt to whack it first.
Unknown Speaker 21:02
We're talking about penises. How about sweet rolls? The Hawaiian sweet rolls. Seriously, every time you buy something that has a location you think it actually comes from that right so when you got Irish soda bread, do you think it actually came from Ireland? Didn't
Oh, no. Hey, Kentucky Fried Chicken. Why do you think?
All right see, it came from Norwich. It's Norwich fried chicken.
Maybe a year ago saw that 30% of people polled to facts. They think chocolate milk comes from Brown cows. And that there aren't farms that exist. That produce just comes doesn't grow. Oh, God comes from the grocery store. Alright, it just happens. It just appear in bad so people are fucking stupid. But like, What's so special about this Hawaiian? Oh, it's delicious. ever had one.
Are you kidding? They? They're amazing. They're just sweet. Good. They're they're delicious. The hamburger rolls I can look at the hamburger and hot dog rolls but the little little like dinner read generals, huh?
Unknown Speaker 21:59
They just look they look wet.
They have like, they have like a some there must be brushed with like a butter. No, no,
no, no, my stomach is
ugly could come from Hawaii. People should just know better.
pineapples Come From Away and they're beautiful. They're scary.
But Tito's handmade vodka. Like, if you if you look at the picture, I mean, it has like the Alamo that even implies like, even if they're making an Alamo, that's not a whole man. Like do you think like Tito's they're making this for you? No, no, because they have the hand number like oh, this is number like 45
Oh, did you ever see the ones that come with like a little sarong? little a little blanket? Things are handmade? No, probably not that, oh, I've got them with a hoodie. Like a little hoodie for the bottle. Like it's gonna get cold. Where's your packet
Unknown Speaker 22:44
Listen, this is this is just basic marketing, right? Look, when everyone came up with organic and the things that weren't organic, we're just like, we're gonna put all natural. These are all natural eggs. In other words, they weren't made in a lab, they actually came from a chicken's butt,
right? It's naturally all natural, all natural.
There was at my company there. So there are people who literally go out and look for things to sue and look to build class action lawsuits. So the company that I do direct sales for, we had an all natural line. And somebody went and sued us because one of the ingredients in one of our products is not technically quote, all natural. So I did some googling on it, because they didn't tell us that's what happened. They just disappeared the line overnight. So I googled it. And I found out that that would happen. But the person who sued our company also sued 50 other companies who use that same ingredient in their products and called it all natural, and they created a class action lawsuit against it. The
reality is though there are lawyers who are like, Hey, you want to give me money for no fucking reason, right? Take it and
it's on spec. They're like, hey, if we see this big company, we're gonna get a shit ton of money. And then I get some of
this is where the Hitler in me comes out. And I'm like, well, we should place a law. You filed five frivolous lawsuits. Well, next one, you file this right? 30 fucking days in jail. While another lawsuit. I was thinking that's how you got to deal with it.
I was thinking take a finger. But okay.
Some people might do that on purpose.
I think America is just so happy. Oh, for sure. Yeah, it's just what it boils down to work. How can I make a quick buck? You know, lazy, working the old fashioned, old fashioned way? You know,
Unknown Speaker 24:21
that's no fun rubber shovel.
So there's outrage over a plan for one us aquarium, which would be ours to import five new belugas.
Yeah. Impressive. I have to say, I was on ABC News, like the national abc news. And it was like, you know, the headline was like a New England Aquarium. Not the New England Aquarium. But New England. I was like, Oh, that's interesting. So I click on I'm like, Hey, mister, Connecticut made national news, you know, and I was like, This is exciting. Our aquarium, and this is never good. Right? Well, I mean, you know, right, ABC. So I was like, well, maybe so I'm start reading and I'm like, Oh, this is bad. This is this is not good for Mr. Graham. But I have to tell you, I have no hard feelings about what they're trying to do. First of all, the beluga whales that they're trying to bring to Mystic Aquarium import are already in captivity captivity. They're not wild. They're the the facility in Ontario is bankrupt.
Unknown Speaker 25:17
so the whales literally have nowhere to go.
Are they born there?
Unknown Speaker 25:22
were they born there?
Unknown Speaker 25:23
Where could we play it?
Unknown Speaker 25:24
They were born in captivity.
They're born in captivity be released into the wild.
Unknown Speaker 25:29
They won't, they won't get
However, I'm thinking like, I've been to the Mystic Aquarium where they gonna put five whales
that tank it's the largest beluga whale tank in all of America. Like any aquarium, it's still large. Yeah, it can know if it's gonna be snug. They're gonna
be like sardines.
Can I be honest with you, if you see like an oil shock? If you see aerial shots of the beluga whales, they stick together they actually are comforted by each other each other they're a family unit and they like being together so it's bigger than ocean ocean. But they can't because they
don't I just don't understand they if you can release a house cat into the wild and they can flourish.
Unknown Speaker 26:11
We don't release lives.
Not animal that can catch fish with teeth. In the ocean. Yeah, why can't it be her
watches because it parents and learns and in captivity? They're just trained there.
Yeah, they're just gonna keep coming up to the beach gone. Yeah, right. harpooned?
I just feel right.
There's a danger, there's a danger, they're gonna come too close to boats because they're used to people, right?
Have you ever seen orcas Han? Like, we can't release
oil and an orca are not the same.
Yeah, they're completely different. I'm not saying that. But it's still a creature that knows how to swim and has the ability to catch fish.
Unknown Speaker 26:51
So so I'm all about keeping them in captivity, just to be clear, but to Steve's point, right. So I learned on my recent trip to Mystic Aquarium a week and a half ago, probably that they are sorry, I don't believe they are. Was it advantageous eaters to basically eat whatever's in front of them. So he said, I don't necessarily want to fall in the tank. As I said, what happens if one of us falls in the tank? Why? Yeah, yum, yum. My wife was mad at me just want to make sure that I was in Yeah,
no, wait. So shampoos and Orca, though, right? Yes. Okay. Shenmue did not eat that guy that fell in the tank. He just played with him until he drowned. You guys. Remember that story? Guys? You're dead. He pushed him under
Unknown Speaker 27:31
the fuck was he doing in the water?
He was performing with them?
No, no, no, no, the one I'm talking about broken in the middle of the night and went in. Oh, this is for was a performer one. Yeah, they're
Unknown Speaker 27:41
called killer whales, dude. Right.
He he was some wacko who's gonna? I don't know if he's gonna set it free. And he was gonna set it free into the streets of Orlando. I don't know what it was.
I love zoos. Roger Williams Zoo out in Rhode Island was like one of my favorite place as a kid. And I it was just simple. I watch I saw 10 pictures on some stupid Facebook thing. I said, the perspective of a zoo from an animal. Oh, yeah, let me check this out. I mean, there's like these wolves who are shouldn't be out hunting in these gigantic territories. Just sitting on a rock together literally, like shoot me in the fucking head. They see the angle from all the kids pressed up, gorilla just sitting there. Same thing. You shoot me in the head. And then I see the last one. It's this big bear looking up over the fence out into the woods. And you can almost sense him just being like, Damn, it's right there. And like, literally in that moment, I went fuck a zoo. Like I know you exist. And they're cool. We want to see the animals but like, imagine getting locked up in a tiny little I know, it's so cliche to say But imagine if someone what if like aliens came down like What are these? Ada humans, and they took you to their planet and locked you in little cage and just threw fucking bananas at you.
I'd be pissed about the bananas
but like it's just a watermelon over but it's not right let any writing not be free and if you let a Beluga out in the ocean, and it flops up on the beach, so be above for that fucking four days with that fucker was swimming around. That's the greatest joy it can ever have compared to sitting in a box it's or
it could be terrified me like I don't understand this. Where's my edges? Where am I going? Where am I getting my food could be terrifying. No, go ahead.
Unknown Speaker 29:21
I was gonna say I think that the broader perspective on this and I do have a little bit of sympathy for the ones that are in that I think that every time I go I say to myself, man here they are in these little either cages or closures closures but but what it does is for my young kids is it brings it into perspective in terms of an appreciation for the animals that they would have never they would have never known about this is a
brother of mine get it I really do like I appreciate all the zoo was that for me as a kid but uh once you once I felt like when I went back to the zoo again, I used to love going to see the elephants in the giraffes at Roger Williams and I'm like most poor elephants. They have no room and you see the draft running around and it's a gigantic enclosure, but like Compared to what they could have, it just said and like, Oh, no, I'm not saying let's burn it out and close them all, but it's, I just feel guilty now.
That's how I feel about house cats that are not allowed outside. And people fight that all that to fight with me that all the time like, Oh my god, you like your cats? Oh, you don't care about your cats and like I don't have prisoners like, Yeah,
well Katie is not going outside,
I have to tell you, I you know, I went to school for wildlife conservation. And almost everyone I went to school with people who are doing great work right now on the ground to protect and conserve species. They were inspired, either at a zoo or an aquarium. That's what jumpstarted that as a child, so you need to have a connection with an animal to feel passionate enough to try to help it. And those same individuals now who saw those animals in the aquarium or in a zoo are doing phenomenal work. So as much as it stinks, you got to kind of think of the animals like a sacrificial animal to help people build a connection. I know that that's horrible, but
it's good. I was obsessed with Dinosaurs as a kid. I never seen a T rex anyway.
Unknown Speaker 31:01
Well, that's probably a good thing.
Because they let them out. They kept him in a cage and still be alive right now.
I can't see their bones. So for all of eternity, we have trapped a few of them, right?
Unknown Speaker 31:12
I think aquarium has dinosaurs now. What's the last time you were there?
I was actually in after hours. And I spent a joke. I almost jumped into that actual Beluga tank we're talking about. I had an intern with me and he thought I was fucking joking. I was like, dude, I'm gonna jump in there.
Weather wells in there.
Yeah, that's the only thing that deterred me because it was really dark. So I was like, it looks cool. But I feel like once I jumped in a regular pool during the day, and I'm like, shark pool with what? 12 foot whales I don't care how gentle they were, would have freaked out. But it was like this. Yeah, I'm gonna get arrested. I'm gonna get fired. But it was just amazing moment that will never be presented to me again. And I could have swam with beluga whales.
Unknown Speaker 31:56
I could have said I could have
died with beluga whales.
I don't want to say me.
I've been watching. This is on topic, but off topic at the same time. I've been watching the crown. Anybody else? Watch that?
All those shows are out now.
Well, we're on the third. I'm watching the third is
like the crown. There's the fucking Queen's gambit. There's no Yeah,
but the Queen's dam is about chess. It's not about at all without
saying. Sorry about the crown.
The point is I'm at the point now where we're talking about Prince Charles and him growing up and basically he's finding out that his life is not his own. He can't make any decisions on his own. He can't say anything. And I literally was thinking to myself today it's like these guys are in a cage. They're in a zoo. They're they're not allowed to be real people. They're not allowed to go outside of their things. They've got all these rules. Do you know
that they can't for Prince Andrew apparently
Yeah, well, well, that's what happens. They come over to America and they've got some freedom but I mean, they're not allowed to eat for seafood or garlic and a bunch of other stuff like there's all these rules of stuff that they can't
you imagine they smelt like fish and garlic on
an attractive group of people. That is true. That is
well for 200 years have been banging each other.
Well, that's not true. The one will
Unknown Speaker 33:03
not look at but in your pants.
The one guy is still pretty cute, even though he's going bald like his dad. He's still pretty handsome. But anyway, that's what I was just thinking. I'm like, No wonder like as soon as Meghan Markel married and she realized she's like, No, no, no, I'm not living in this cage. I'm going back to America. Fuck this.
Everyone was worried about them. What do you think could do? Well, she's an actress, and he still got damn backup prints. So I think they're gonna be okay.
Unknown Speaker 33:27
All right. They survived in the wild. Look at that.
Unknown Speaker 33:29
He lost all
Unknown Speaker 33:30
they were released. And they were fine.
Right? Exactly. Yes. But he had a partner who knew the I mean,
they find a friend below gun thrown out. Big Blue Blue, deep blue sea swim. So
Wow. And you swim so free. All right on that? No. What
was the state anything at all?
I don't think we didn't five seconds. Isn't that the roll has to be more than five seconds. No idea. No. Do you remember when everybody was getting sued over Happy birthday? And then they found out that the person who was suing everybody didn't even know what a happy birthday
we discussed earlier.
Yeah, they're dumb. Alright, so we are going to go on a break real quick. And then we get back we will talk to our guests Lisa David Olson. Curtis, we're Where are you? I thought you were gonna miss the podcast.
Unknown Speaker 34:12
I was grocery shopping. And it was rough.
Unknown Speaker 34:14
I had to run all over town to get everything on my list. And I got elbow dropped by a little old lady over a pack of toilet paper. I don't see what's so great about shopping. It's a pain.
That's because you're doing it wrong. I did all my shopping while we were on the last commercial break. And most of it will be here by the time the show was over. See
Unknown Speaker 34:30
what how did you manage that?
Unknown Speaker 34:32
Did you get yourself a personal shopper?
Nope. Even better. instacart. Instead of having to play separate orders at every store. I can place one order for all my favorites from a variety of local grocery stores on instacart and they'll be delivered to my doorstep and it's fast as an hour. even let you know when your favorite items go on sale.
Unknown Speaker 34:49
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Just click the link in the show notes that will let instacart know that we sent you and it'll help support our show. Not only that our listeners get free delivery on their first order. For over $35 so it's a win win for everyone
Unknown Speaker 35:02
heading over there now instacart saving you time and money. Now that's undebatable
you're listening to undebatable here's Raylene Curtis, Steve and Bradford.
And coming up next is our guest Lisa David Olson, who is known as the humorous speaker and icebreaker queen. She escaped her traumatic childhood through humor, which later became her business. She believes that improvisation is a superbly useful tool and she teaches others how to use this tool for their business projects and goals. Lisa is an author speaker podcast host and an embarrassing mom. She adores pranks and sharing creative tips to help others get unstuck with projects and help energize team dynamics. for two decades. She ran and performed in a comedy and improv troupe and is the author of laughs on MRI. Please welcome to the show. Our special guest Lisa, David.
Unknown Speaker 36:04
Thank you for that Raylene.
Oh, you are quite welcome. So tell us a little bit about how you got started doing what you're doing.
Unknown Speaker 36:11
Well, being from Minnesota, as we were saying there, you always start with How's the weather? It's cold here. I did that to Bradford last night. What is the weather there? That was so Midwest of me. Yeah, I did grow up in a traumatic home. And it was my mother's a chusen. of functioning alcoholic that we didn't understand. She was actually self medicating her her issues with you know, just disorders or whatever and raging alcoholic. And when we the siblings and I would escape through humor and find jokes, pranks, TV shows, that was what kept us going as a group. You know, we kind of bonded together through humor to escape that which was very frightening. You couldn't really have kids over. Back in the day people didn't intervene in families. And luckily now today there's more help for those situations. But it later became my my career. I had a comedy troupe for you know, writing sketch comedy doing improvisation and song parodies and just kind of making fun of the town we live in, you know, a musical on potholes. Well sure I'm there
Unknown Speaker 37:22
I'm on the roundabout
Unknown Speaker 37:23
I got that one.
Unknown Speaker 37:25
So that's that's who became my family is my comedy troupe because I believe family is who you allow in your circle and I don't believe we got to have your crazy Uncle Joe over because that's family. No, you don't. He peed on the plant last time in the living room. So
Unknown Speaker 37:42
Unknown Speaker 37:43
don't family is who you choose. And that's that's what I stand by.
No. Now what about your father you didn't mention anything about your father? Was he kind of a good role model in your life for
Unknown Speaker 37:53
he was in the picture but again back in those days he he was in what now would be called the man cave, but back then it was his office. So that's also where the bourbon was. So that's a coin key. Hmm.
Unknown Speaker 38:09
Unknown Speaker 38:09
was there but not hands on. And you know, nowadays I there's no way that you would stay in a family like that. But he just kind of went off on his own. He brought the money home. She drank it. So lovely. But he was around and so I really thought he'd be really proud when I wrote my book and it's got the highs and lows. It's got pranks, it's got trauma, it's everything. It's a bathroom book. And you know, but he wasn't proud. He was not excited. He was basically saying why would you bring that out? So again, that's that's the times they lived in, versus the times we live in where we talk about oh, my God, Raylene. What did you have for lunch? I didn't see Instagram yet.
Did your dad ice fish got to know a hockey
speaking of ice Lisa, you are the self proclaimed icebreaker queen. What is I noticed?
That was good. That was really good. That was a good segue. Very
Unknown Speaker 39:10
What would be the ultimate icebreaker? Like if you had one line to come up and convince someone to talk to you? What would you use?
Unknown Speaker 39:21
Let's get fired.
Oh my god, you already have me. I'm at least gonna go You want more? Don't
Unknown Speaker 39:26
you miss? Oh, I
Unknown Speaker 39:28
I like you do.
Unknown Speaker 39:29
I love to play that I do corporate speaking and I love to do let's get fired. Get your butt fired. And that's where we take a wacky idea. So how many of you are gathered there? There's like four of you. So let's if all four of us were going to get fired what would we bring into the booth where you're at right now what we get your show just totally taken off the air of flames thrower
taken off the air. I spoke from the heart. Yeah. If I let people know how really republican i was. I'd be so I know. That's you
Unknown Speaker 40:00
Usually if we had more time, we would definitely play with all these ideas. So let's take what was it flame thrower and let's make that workable what could you actually have in there? Maybe it would be the the Halloween flame thing that is the light with the flowing curtain thing that looks like it's a little pot of fire, but it's really harmless. You can buy it at Walmart, right? And, and he would tell everybody don't miss today's production because we're gonna have actual flame on the air. And of course, it's just a joke, but you wouldn't get fired. But you would have fun in the studio and you would have something a topic to talk about one of the companies I talked to, they wanted drugs, and a live band. And I forget what else nakedness?
Yeah, like, Can I Where do I sign up for this?
Unknown Speaker 40:39
Unknown Speaker 40:41
was fired. So we made it workable. So instead of drugs, we just had root beer floats. And instead of a live band, we had some music and instead of nakedness, we did finger painting with bare feet. You know, we made it workable. So it was still fun. But we still had our jobs. Because those stealing money in radio.
Oh my god,
I just if you weren't here, we would have the wine. It wouldn't be drugs, but it would be wine.
Unknown Speaker 41:03
We call it juice box.
Mommy's juice box.
Unknown Speaker 41:06
That's right. So that's one of the icebreakers I mean, there's different ones, if you were allowed in a bar ever again, you would. This is so silly. I embarrass my husband on the constant but he stays. And I just say to somebody next to me, you can tell they're having fun. And one of my favorite games is to look at them and say, your name starts with a J, doesn't it? I bet you work with numbers, don't you? You know, it's just and of course, no, it's not a j but they talked to you about it. You're like, Hey, lady, get back, you know? So then we're talking then? Well, it's
Unknown Speaker 41:37
funny. You talked about corporate so out of the four of us. I'm a small business owner here mostly in the landscape construction business and, and and what is the what is the line in business still taking jokes to the next level. And in pranks, something we have to deal with? We are a small business, but we're growing. So we always used to joke around with each other shop talk. And now we have to be more careful with all the laws out there nowadays.
Unknown Speaker 41:59
question. That sounds like a really long ass statement. I did not hear a question.
He wants to be able to be offensive without offending Did
Unknown Speaker 42:07
you hear that?
Unknown Speaker 42:09
I work with police during the day. And there is a literal threshold of the back room where we are allowed to say anything and everything. But if you're not on that side of the threshold, watch your watch your mouth. So you might have to stay with that. And you might have to take your dirtiness to the truck.
Unknown Speaker 42:23
There you go. So we have a we have a guy that's an antagonizing young guy. And he's always playing pranks on people. Right? So we like him. Yeah. And he, although it's sometimes it goes a little overboard. So he has a crush on young girl and one of the one of the places we buy our goods at right and so he left this out of the bag, and I gladly let her know. So now Oh, yeah. And so he's like, I'll tell tell her I have a girlfriend. And he wanted to ask her out. But she's married nice back and said she has a girlfriend. And he's like, she's married? And I said yeah. So it's coming back to
Unknown Speaker 43:06
suckiest wing man ever.
So how do you have have you integrated comedy into your your career? How do you what what has your past taught you? When and where has that led you today? What do you
Unknown Speaker 43:18
I have become a creative partner. I don't call myself a coach, I really find that title to be oversaturated especially after the quarantine everybody seems to be a transformational coach and aren't going to do but I don't even know what that is. I'm a creative partner and I will work with you to make creative ideas and get you unstuck. I have a journal of tips that I learned from improv, but I'm not going to teach you improv, we're not going to throw the ball to each other and make alien sounds because that makes me uncomfortable. What I want to do is with the creative tips, but we connect through humor, and I encourage people to be brave and dare themselves daily and as cheesy as it might sound. It's it daring yourself could be I think I'm going to actually leave the house today or daring yourself could be I'm going to ask out that girl and not mention that I work in dirt all day. You know, it's a dare to yourself to be brave and try something new and sweat in the weird places. That's what living is about. That's what I think. But I love to connect through humor. And I love to speak to corporate and I love the one on ones. So let's play Let's be fun. Let's endorphin eyes ourselves and lower the blood pressure and squash down some of the anxiety that we all have. Look how creative everybody became in quarantine. Everyone can make sourdough bread with their feet now.
Unknown Speaker 44:36
Sour part my feet.
That's where the east came from.
Unknown Speaker 44:41
sourdough bread with your toe jam.
What are you most excited about right now.
Unknown Speaker 44:50
I am excited about learning new ways to present and that it can work. I was scared to death to be a virtual speaker because I'm interactive and I play with my audio I have telemarketer calls that are real calls of where I don't let the telemarketer mess with me. And I like to play those when I'm out there. And I like to do these different things they don't even know they've just played a game with me. So I was like, oh man, here I am a virtual speaker now, it still can work. And because I have a background in improv, it's very Yes. And so we take that information and we build from it and we grow together. When we laugh together, we connect, and it still can work all through zoom land, we can make it work. It's just different. It's just a creative way to still connect with people. We definitely missed that. Cool. So
now we're gonna go through our lightning round and we are gonna just zip through some random questions. My first one was gonna be what's the weather but cats or dogs?
Unknown Speaker 45:48
Unknown Speaker 45:49
Ooh, warm weather or cold weather.
Unknown Speaker 45:52
is your favorite swear?
Unknown Speaker 45:55
Oh, for cry?
What is that? For? fartman?
Unknown Speaker 46:04
Unknown Speaker 46:10
rain or snow. Oh,
Unknown Speaker 46:12
rain. The cold questions, people. Yeah,
I know. That was three.
Do you keep your ketchup in the refrigerator or on the shelf?
Unknown Speaker 46:23
fridge? Do you know that?
Everybody else have you ever been to a restaurant? There's never a refrigerator? Nope, nope. Nope. My husband and I stopped refrigerating it last year after we realized that ketchup tastes better warmer. And every single restaurant in the world needs it right?
Don't listen to this nonsense.
Unknown Speaker 46:37
Nope. You're trying
Unknown Speaker 46:38
to warm raeleen and at the end of the shift it all goes back in the fridge. Start asking your mascot doesn't
he used to work in a restaurant so much more dangerous to make it room temperature and then colder room temperature and cold back and forth? That would just piss the bacteria right?
Connecticut restaurants for a little?
No, I'm serious. It says best if refrigerated doesn't say you must Wow. Interesting. You
Unknown Speaker 47:02
have changed my life. To the fridge right now. You
Unknown Speaker 47:04
guys hold on. A little more.
Unknown Speaker 47:07
a animal in captivity or an animal non captivity in terms of like aquariums and zoos? Depends.
Unknown Speaker 47:14
Oh, you're not asking if I'm an M if you were a tree.
I think I would be in the cage.
Unknown Speaker 47:19
Look what happened to Carole Baskin.
I mean of everybody. It worked out best for her. Oh,
Unknown Speaker 47:26
good point. I mean, she didn't make it to dancing with us.
That was so disgusting. so bad. Does anybody believe she did not feed her husband to a tiger. Now?
If you have tigers, are you gonna feed someone to it? Exactly.
I don't know. Would you get in a tiger tank? I mean, you got a bull. You said you'd get in a Beluga tank. Would you get a tiger cage
Unknown Speaker 47:52
you mentioned the when you're younger, you'd use comedy to escape like TV shows and stuff. What was your favorite I guess form of comedy or what TV show? What was it that you watch when you're younger? The Carol
Unknown Speaker 48:02
Burnett Show. Nice. Nice.
That's where the Yeah, the
Unknown Speaker 48:06
accent? It's just a lightning rod. Okay, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 48:08
to the show. Brandon.
He's a substitute. He doesn't really belong here.
Unknown Speaker 48:25
Are you ready for this to be the mediator? toilet paper roll flap on the top or under the bottom?
Unknown Speaker 48:31
Oh my gosh. Yeah, the top has to go over. Otherwise you're gonna mess up the wallpaper when you go to grab.
Unknown Speaker 48:37
Unknown Speaker 48:38
you grab it one handed, you got the whole roll to pull it against if it's
Unknown Speaker 48:41
for that. And also you can scan handed thing. Oh, cuz you're holding your phone.
Unknown Speaker 48:46
You got it.
But you can't unravel it. Well, Lisa,
Unknown Speaker 48:53
Right. All right. I thought you were asked a different toilet paper question. Like do you ever roll or fold?
Unknown Speaker 49:01
Unknown Speaker 49:03
say about the poor folds on a good day.
Some people roll it around and some people like folded
Unknown Speaker 49:09
Oh, I like
presentation when it's sitting in OCD with that stuff.
Oh, yeah. No, I'm sorry. When I'm done. I make a little triangle so nobody knows that the papers ever.
Unknown Speaker 49:23
The end of my paper on my paper. There's always a little swan.
Unknown Speaker 49:30
My five year old has clogged the toilet every other day for a month. He needs half the role to wipe the smallest ass in the house. Oh, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 49:38
He's clean. He's shitting himself for like four years straight. Hey, I think he's just excited and I haven't stuck to him. And
so Lisa, how can people find you?
Unknown Speaker 49:52
Mostly because I'm in my 50s on face place.
Unknown Speaker 49:56
So I knew we were best friends.
Unknown Speaker 49:58
Lisa David Olson. I also have a comedy group on Facebook called counterclockwise where we just basically steal and share memes that aren't too dirty. And yeah, join me on Facebook and find me there and also on the Instagrams. But nothing happens ever so whatever.
Can we find your book?
Unknown Speaker 50:21
Oh, yes, yes, it's on Amazon laughs on ride wr Why? And it's, there's an audio version with the voice of an angel, is it you and I also have my journals called what ifs and why nots, and that's through me because I had it locally printed support in the local and I have my timer CD coming out. I just can't figure out how to release it. It's loaded. I can't load it. So that's because you're over 50 once my husband's back in town. That's how that goes. Lisa, thanks
so much for coming on our show. You have been absolutely a hoot. This might be the best 15 minutes of our show today. Oh. Thanks so much. And I already added you on Facebook and we have mutual friends. So
Unknown Speaker 51:02
oh my gosh, thank you so much. co writer. Thanks, you
Unknown Speaker 51:06
Really Are you the actual fucking Pope? No, but because so many random people in the universe. So we're gonna keep bringing in here like, Oh,
we happen to do all we did improv together. We
Unknown Speaker 51:17
hung out at the airport. Well,
she's a speaker and a comedian. And so all of our mutual friends are speakers and comedians. I know
like for people in radio, and they work in the same building as me.
I probably know more radio people that need it.
Unknown Speaker 51:29
Of course you do. You're the
I don't know that the pope is the right word. So you really don't think it's ever the Pope.
You are the Pope of sex toys. Yeah. Yeah. Wait, now it makes sense. You're like the drug. You're like the local drug dealer. Everybody knows. You
know, it's crazy. More lube? told me I would have brought some
Unknown Speaker 51:52
more uses. No,
no, no, no, but I usually have it in my car. I take it in in the winter because I don't want it to freeze you imagine
if they made key chain lube and you're like at Christmas and grandma's like,
Unknown Speaker 52:03
is that some hand lotion? Can
Unknown Speaker 52:04
I get some
Unknown Speaker 52:06
honey berry flavor and
Unknown Speaker 52:07
you can look at grandpa
getting warm. All of a sudden,
all of my nieces are now adults. And they're you know, with partners and every single party they're like, like, come on to the car.
They're good, always locked and loaded.
Usually, but like I said in the wintertime it can freeze so it's in in the car. Can you
Unknown Speaker 52:28
freeze, start to let it thaw so it's got like a little bit of
Yes. Well no because of the hospitalization Yeah, no, cuz that clogs the little
Unknown Speaker 52:37
like that right off but
then you're using too much you do not want a hot dog down the hallway. Dude, slow down. What you can do is put it in a cup of hot water in it. It defrost really quickly. peanuts. Now the loo bottles.
Unknown Speaker 52:50
I just keep it in the top drawer, but I'm waiting for my daughter to start going through our drawers. That's gonna well
then oh, then you just answer the question.
Here's the solution. Put a very graphic picture of you and your wife doing something don't do that. Never fucking go in there ever again. She may not even speak you for about a week. This may solve a lot of problems.
You could put some handcuffs and that always stumped them for a little bit have those
Unknown Speaker 53:11
and actually they found them there. They're playing with them.
One of my friends said she was she's a police officer and she was at the school doing a little thing with the kids and one of the daughters says My mom has handcuffs but they're pink and fuzzy. She's like I bet she knows you.
Unknown Speaker 53:30
actually think our handcuffs are in this playroom still. No they literally found them. They're just
they're just Yeah, they're not serious. Oh, come
on the lake with a plastic.
Unknown Speaker 53:40
No, no, no, no. Okay, let's
get a little switch on it. Yeah, switch
Brandon. They're gonna end up at school sooner or later.
Well, the kids don't go to school anymore. So you're saying
Unknown Speaker 53:49
school is our kitchen? We're okay. Don't just be handcuffing
the neighbor's kid.
Unknown Speaker 53:56
I saw my mommy wearing those and now they're on you.
Oh, really? My dad, Where's mine.
Unknown Speaker 54:05
The thing is, we have cups and no bedpost right now. So I'm like, What do I attach this
to the other arm to the other hand.
You have ripped the bedpost off at the previous experiences,
maybe? Four poster beds? Have you tried to? It wouldn't even fit my arms wouldn't aren't that long. One. One time he tried. One time he tried to tie me up. It was hysterical because I can take him right. Doesn't matter if you take so he is me all tied up. And then he tied my legs together. So obviously he hasn't done it. He was gonna kill you. I know. Not not a minute. But when we were done with our activities, I said, sir. Well, he tied my feet together. And I was like, and I let him do it.
To tie you up. Yes. This is how murder, like we've been
married for 20 years is gonna kill me. But when we were done, I was like, so what do you wanna do for dinner and he goes, You didn't plan dinner and I'm like, sorry, I was all tied up. Welcome to be married to me
and he hasn't
he hasn't killed me yet but like I said it keeps filling me with sugar knowing damn well that it will kill me eventually. So it's just taking this slow roll
Unknown Speaker 55:16
one candy bar I
Unknown Speaker 55:17
see it coming,
Unknown Speaker 55:19
right all this because I needed to order a simple bottle lube.
Somehow this podcast as of late always ends on a sexual note. I don't know how it happened not
my fault Raylene always brings up
I did not I did not Brandon brought up
Unknown Speaker 55:34
Unknown Speaker 55:35
Come on. Exactly. All stuck at home. I
didn't need a pandemic, dude.
Unknown Speaker 55:39
Some of us did.
But I mean, if now that I'm home, you know, for us over 40 we
Unknown Speaker 55:45
needed a pandemic.
Yeah, minus two deaths. This is like the greatest thing that's ever happened to me, actually. Ooh.
Unknown Speaker 55:50
So deaths are actually down for 2020 compared to 2000 over four days. No, no, no. 2020
there's another word from 19 to 20. Oh, my
Unknown Speaker 56:00
voice in the US are actually down 2020 compared to 29 years already looking at previous years,
Tom, just because there were no car accidents. I was at home.
Unknown Speaker 56:11
Wow. That's true.
That's true. And there's no there's an offset. I've been wondering at the whole time if there's an offset, like the number of babies being born offset by the number of abortions we didn't have because people did not go out and have drunk one night stands.
So when this all started, I looked up like what's the worst year in history to talk about on the air. And I discovered it it was like it's too long to explain. So I keep reminding people that like 2021 here doesn't mean shit, dude. Like, what if this is the beginning of 25 years of the worst 25 years that exist in human history?
Well, I mean, to be fair, the first 25 years of the law, actually the first 60 years of the 1900s weren't that great. I mean, they went from the flu of 1922. World War One to World War Two. Vietnam.
This was like back in like the, like, humans were around. But it's like Roman time. Oh, yeah. It's like the 1500s that wasn't the worst. kaino went off. And it was dark for 18 fucking years. Yeah. Oh, everywhere.
somebody posted on my end,
right when the sun came up the plague,
Unknown Speaker 57:14
right. Literally. Live.
Yeah. It was literally 100 years of death.
Well, and he somebody posted on my I had made a comment, you know about whatever it is, if you post anything about the vaccine, or COVID somebody is gonna argue with you, even if you said nothing. No, they don't. Right. And so and he was like, Yeah, no, the worst year ever was blah, blah, you know, whatever. 1516. And I'm like, yeah, that's because they didn't have doordash.
In a lot of things,
that's true. But I mean, that saved most of us. So we are going to draw and announce the winner from the ugly sweater contest. Well, I think the winner of the ugly sweater contest was clearly Frankfort. And so the winner of the $50 gift card from Target is Hold on. I gotta find it. I'm just Johnson and up. Okay, this one
don't hold no, Steve fucking Harvey.
Wait, there's two. Hold on. Let me just skip. All right. Here's one. Carmen Schaffer.
Well, you know what's funny about that? is Carmen Shaffer is actually from Minnesota. And that's where target is wrong. Oh, my God.
Unknown Speaker 58:23
money on the podcast, podcast. Hello, listens.
There you go. I mean, it's all our friends that are listening all the weed. So by the way, if you're listening, we have a random person in France. We thank you. You are a very loyal listener. Bonjour. Bonjour. Thank you for listening in from France. We have listeners in Lithuania. We have Thank you, Lithuania. If anyone knows, I don't I don't I you know, but I mean, I'm not gonna list all the countries but they're all over the world. We've got listeners. So thank you for all of your support. We really appreciate it.
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Lisa David Olson is known as the humorist speaker and icebreaker queen. She escaped her traumatic childhood through humor which later became her business. She believes that Improvisation is a superbly useful tool And she teach others how to use this tool for their businesses, projects and goals. Lisa is an Author, speaker, podcast host and embarrassing mom . . . She adores pranks and sharing creative tips to help others get unstuck with projects and to help energize team dynamics. For two decades she ran and performed in a comedy and improv troupe and is the author of Laughs on Wry.